I remain convinced that Cape Town is truly one of the best places on the planet*. The unique landscape, the atmosphere and the relative cost of the place combine to create an environment I've never found elsewhere. However, this doesn't discount from the fact it is a very, very long way from anywhere else I've been, and therefore a very long way from anyone else I know.
Often when people talk about being lucky they tend to have just made the most of opportunities that have presented themselves. In that regard I definitely am lucky. I had a state school education, but was continually encouraged and did enough work that I got into good universities which benefited massively a research career. We never travelled as children outside of the UK (but the trips we did have around the UK were fantastic, and I cherish the memories perhaps more than if we had just done generic trips abroad), but towards the end of college and trips with my cousin (who is this month a father!), mother and grandfather, as well as rowing at university, I became acclimatised to airports such that when I finished my undergraduate going on a road trip to the US for a month wasn't intimidating at all. This was followed by research trips across Europe, which themselves fostered friendships across many countries as well as two relationships, which means five years after finishing at Manchester I've ticked off 19 countries, one of which I lived in for essentially twelve months. I've been very lucky to end up in the situation I'm in, and now have the world at my fingertips.
All in all, moving to SA wasn't a worry at all. I wasn't running away from anything, the job opportunity was absolutely perfect, and it was a new adventure. It was hard to leave behind people, and if I'd stayed they would've continued to make me very content, but it would have bred its own worries about what I would do next in any case. I've made good friends here, know my area, and although I'm currently spending more time working with others on different work rather than my own research I am settled in to the place. It's definitely worth pointing out that I am happy.
The problem comes though that when things don't go smoothly (and they never do), or when things simply just become a little too much and nothing is wrong per se, but you feel a little off, the people who understand that are further away than one wants...and it suuuuucks. If I need it I know people are a phone call away but it's a different dynamic than just chilling out at the pub or messing about on the Xbox or just hanging out with people I've known for over a decade. The support network that develops when you grow up, study, and live with people is something that is of course left behind, and that's the biggest sacrifice and the hardest thing to leave behind. When those feelings hit, it stops becoming an adventure, and instead becomes another challenge on top of the one that begat the first difficulty!
I strive to keep in contact with people as much as possible. During GMT hours in Europe it was hard since the time difference between SA and UK is 2 hours, enough to shift schedules out of sync. When work is busy too it's hard to engage in long meaningful conversations every day. I think some bitterness creeps in too; when you are often the one making or arranging the call, it becomes harder. One forgets that everyone has their own problems and schedule, and so expecting people to, on top of that, understand your situation of being away from everyone and everything you know is very self-centred. Apart from those who've been in the same situation, it's impossible to understand the peculiar feeling of loneliness whilst being surrounded by new friends and colleagues.
A lot of people have a generic aim of wanting to 'go travelling', and it's a great thing to do which has loads of advantages and obvious appeals. I don't think a lot of people think much about the disadvantages though. Principally is this feeling of being alone. Going to a new city and knowing nobody means a lot of activities around that are so fun to do are fun because of the social bonds and enjoyment shared with others. If you feel sad about this, then ordinarily you might chat to a close friend or relative...again, not a possibility. Third, there's also the point that being in a new country is intrinsically odd. Take SA for example; here, you don't fill up the car at the petrol station yourself. Dried chives are very difficult to buy. The concept of medical aid is completely foreign. When a lot of these differences come all at once it can be overwhelming. Life is easier by virtue of having family + friends of friends here, and they've been great as I've said in the past. It's quite obvious though why a lot of people who make a decision like this do it as a couple, as that comes straight away with a support network, networking is easier, and there's someone you know going through the same struggles at the same time; although I'm sure it must come with its own stresses that I'm oblivious of.
The day-to-day life isn't necessarily enough to make you feel like a stranger though. I'm a strong proponent of speaking the language of the place you are in; without doing so, it's impossible to understand the culture. However, even if you do so, it takes a long, immersive, time to be able to do it without slipping up, and being teased or made to feel useless about STILL not understanding that it's not an 'ee' but an 'ii', or losing track of the conversation because of a slang word casually thrown in. These scenarios more often than not end up leading to a few laughs and enjoyment, but it serves to remind that you are an outsider.
Do I have the answers to this problem? No, and it's mostly just an exercise for me to get the whirlwind of thoughts I've had on the subject down in some ordered fashion. I don't think an answer can be given for the feeling though, since it differs for everyone; the question is simply is it worth it. Would I do it again [the move]? Yes. Would I recommend it to others? Not to everyone, and would definitely suggest people think about the bad parts rather than just the adventurous exciting new life part. Many people I know are married, have kids, a mortgage, and settled down having never left their hometown, and that's fine! I look at my life and career and in the short-term that is not something that can happen. At the same time, I've seen so much of the world that many others never can or will, and in some sense have lived two or three lives on my own. Perhaps I'm particularly conscious of this since my dad had MS and was immobile for a long time. Being abroad and travelling changes you. Having kids and a mortgage changes you too. For me, the change has come I think with some profound sense of loss that although I am welcome in places across the world, and I am lucky to have one place in particular to always call home, I have (for now) lost the sense of belonging in any one particular place. That is a sad truth, but this is clearly not the end of the story, and so more change will come and perhaps things will naturally become more clear as they need to be.
Anyway, existential crisis over! May activities. I started out after the national championships in East London, over on the other side of the country, and my first time in a different province. I spent the first day up the wild coast, seeing a different environment...nice sunsets still, very quiet at this time of year though, and doesn't have quite the same spectacular difference in fauna of Cape Town's surroundings.
The second day was a quick tour of East London beach, where some of the oldest footprints ever were found. It was nice, and in the afternoon I headed to the museum before flying back. Very interesting, and I realised it's actually the first time I've been to a museum in SA without it being a special event. Not because of lack of interest but because when the weather is like the weather in Cape Town most of the time you don't want to be indoors, and when it's bad enough that you don't want to be outdoors you don't want to even leave the house! Amongst other exhibits was the type specimen for the Coelacanth, a fish that was thought to be extinct 66 million years ago but found off the coast of SA in 1938.
I finally went down to a bakery that everyone raves about named Charley's...it was ok but probably contributed to the homesick feeling of missing mum's baking. First Thursday happened, and I include my favourite picture from this session. I got on the train for the first time here, which had all sorts of horror stories associated with it but was, for me at that time on a Sunday, perfectly fine. The reason being was that I was sans car for about a week and a half, which was more than unfortunate and made me a significantly poorer man...have my suspicions as to whether I was ripped off because the water pump was in tact when I checked everything myself before taking it in 30 minutes before...but anyway. Obviously couldn't get down to rowing but that doesn't matter anyway because the vlei gets drained at the start of winter (which to me, is still summer, but everything is upside down).
Finally my birthday happened this month! I was quite snowed under with a lot of stuff, but managed to get out on the day itself to a restaurant where a rowing friend is head chef, plus some cocktails, and at the weekend went to a vineyard for what has to be the best value meal I've ever had.
I was going to wrap it up in the previous paragraph since this is a very long post, but I have to elaborate. So we sit down, spend too long looking at the wine menu and decide we just go for the cheapest bottle from the vineyard itself (which was great). The food itself was much more reasonably priced and after ordering we receive an amuse bouche of smoked kudu on bread. This was followed by a starter of duck pate with a beetroot and sweet potato puree. Typically you expect something around a credit card size, a cm or so deep...as you can see in the photo though, it actually came almost as a main! This was followed (obviously...) by a palette cleanser of a plum sorbet, then the actual main, which for me consisted of a delectable springbok cut, with the side dishes balancing it perfectly. Completely unexpectedly, it was followed by a birthday mousse! No idea how they knew as neither me or my friends had mentioned it, but very grateful all the same. 14/10, would recommend.
Next month, Europe awaits once more, and I can't wait!
Song of the month: Liar Liar, by Captain SKA, because whatever side you fall on the political divide, it should be conducted in a better way.
*OK, wind aside.
